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Posts from July 2016

The gift

So I'm spending some time away from Emmanuel for my day off and thought I would take a moment to blog to show you all I am still alive. Also to explain this box I received. Hundreds of you have asked about it since I mentioned it on social media and I couldn't keep my adoring audience waiting. Okay. One person has asked in the past 3 months....

So in March I'm on vacation in Ohio driving down 13 (the road that leads to or from anywhere from Carrie's house) and singleness came up. In the discussion I mentioned something I read earlier about "the gift of singleness." It seems to me that the way singleness is discussed in the church body is either you need to get married because you're so cute,smart, pretty or great OR you just most have the gift of singleness. Like its a spiritual gift. I literally checked a few times and it's not listed as a spiritual gift. So we laughed about adding to the list of "gifts" and talked about what my gift of singleness looked like. So a day or two later Carrie gifted me with my singleness officially. Ha!
Here's the thing... I know Paul mentioned the benefits of singleness over marriage. And encourages those who can to remain single. He also says those who can't should be married. I know the bible is full of marriage language. Heaven will be a wedding. I love that. I love weddings. I love love! Haha I get it.

I think we can all say In 2016 singleness is just a weird subject. I can list a whole lot of things that are great about being single. I can list a whole lot of things that are really far from awesome about being single. I acknowledge that marriage is hard. I've been in lots of friendships with couples and seen the struggles up close and even seen marriages fail. I get it.
What is hard to understand is why it's a "this or that" thing. You're married or you're evidently waiting to someday be married. I've never heard someone say "I think it's awesome that God has had you single because...." I'm thankful to have had people say "why don't you come over to our thing we are having because we don't want you to miss out" (married people thing). I'm thankful that folks in my world acknowledge my aloneness (I roll singularly...not that I'm alone) and invite me in to their lives for community. I'm ok with being involved in families and doing family stuff. I have time for that when married women don't. Most of my friends know I'm fine goin to the grocery store with them just to spend time chatting about whatever. They also know that I'm extra grateful for moments we can sit as grownups at a meal or coffee shop or on the back porch alone chatting. I'm thankful for those who pray for me about my not having a husband to partner with as I navigate life. And they don't necessarily pray the Lord would send me one. They just pray what the Father tells them. I'm thankful for those who ask how I'm doing and really want to know because they get that I don't have a husband to talk to as life goes on and ask his opinion and pray with about stuff that feels hard. I'm thankful for folks who pray for or with me because they get that at the end of the day I don't have a husband to do that with. It's how community should look anyway- single or not. We share life and time prayers and Jesus. I really try hard to be someone that does the same for my friends (who happen to be married) because I get what life must look like for them and I want to be an encouragement and friend to them. It's just what we do as the body of Christ. Because I'm single I try to live my life serving as much as I can because I know I'm free to do so.
A lot of articles I've seen lately about singleness seem to mention "while I was waiting for a/my spouse" and some are still waiting. Which is interesting because I just think...what if it doesn't come? I try to just live life, pursue my King, and see what comes. But I don't feel like I'm waiting for my husband. At least not an earthly one. I just don't want to spend energy on it. Like I try not spend energy waiting for another house or car or any other thing that's not in my life. That just makes it all feel harder
For me it's too easy to get caught up in what I don't have and I miss what I do. I have people who love me, in all my silly messed up ways. People who laugh with me that I'm turning into a spinster or the old lady in the shoe with all the kids. I have a Heavenly Father who knows exactly what is to come and I trust Him.
I think of Corrie Ten Boom talking to her father and wanting to know something. He handed her the big suitcase he had and asked if she could carry it all day. She replied she couldn't that it was too heavy. He responded with something alone the lines of "trust me that I know you can't carry the weight of it. Like you aren't ready to know some of the things you want to know". I trust Him. And if He up and surprises me with a man to become my husband then bonus. (And watch out world. That's gonna be a crazy time! Haha)
For now I sit my "gift of singleness" on the shelf and go on down the road of life doing my thing with my #village and trust my Father for the decisions He makes in my life. Knowing that I really don't have a gift of singleness because I am His bride! And that's the best kind of gift I know.
Love you guys.
Be His.

The gift