The Walk

I am still here.  My bloggy absence has been unintentional.  I was sick part of last week then headed off to something called Emmaus.  And this week has simply been really busy with work. 

I feel inclined to blog about my experience last week.  Both being sick and Emmaus.  I will spare you the details of how I was sick (It wasn't happy...I will leave it at that.) I missed two days of work- during a very important time, and as bad as I felt physically I emotionally felt bad because I wasn't there to help my folks.  Looking back on it I realize it was probably the enemy trying to knock my on my tail and keep me from Emmaus.  And I'm not one to blame the enemy for much.  

I headed off to Emmaus knowing my watch and phone would be gone.  I was okay with that for the most part.  I can exist in quiet.  The only bummer was there were 2 important events going on back home that I missed the updates on.  But that's a side note. I was granted a wonderful dinner at Oskar's but unfortunately I had to eat only about 5 of my fried pickles because my stomach was on the recovery.  Then I got to Emmaus.  And the serving began. 

For those of you who know me, I am a server.  I love to help people.  I am distraught when I feel like I can't help someone.  It makes me feel useless.  People kept telling me to go to Emmaus to take a break and be served.  And I was.  There are magic elves all over the place there.  I appreciate the elves servant hearts.  I get that.  They speak my language.  

I don't want to spoil anything but my three day experience pretty much began and ended on the first night.  I won't explain the details but as I sat in a cold room with a bunch of strangers (and a few friends- one of them being on my favorites list) tired, exhausted really, I was struck with a question.  That question was "Are you afraid that you will lose everything?  That all you will have is Him?"  It was a question asked by one disciple to another.  That was the question on my mind for 3 days.  Because I have never been asked that before.  I have heard discussions on fear of...failure, losing family, changing plans...but never "What if you lose EVERYTHING but Him?"  Would I really be okay with that?  My stuff?  Yes, but my friends and family? right now...not so much.  But I'm working on that.  

As I spent 3 days at Emmaus I continually saw the body of Christ.  How we all see Him differently.  How we react to things differently.  How different things speak to people differently.  How we see the same thing and all think very different things about it.  How we give to others and how we receive from others.  How we have to ask for what we need sometimes instead of taking care of it ourselves.  Even something as simple as Chapstick.  I am grateful that I got to be served.  But I realized that I think the weekend was more about the people I encountered than myself.  

If I could have designed 3 days away I would have done it differently.  But I didn't.  Despite what I think things should have been I am grateful.  For the friends who gave of their time to serve.  To simply show up and let me see their faces.  For their kind words and their prayers.  For the things that I will never know about.  And there were moments that I could have seized to get a little more out of it, but I let others step up to experience that.  I was just trying to rest and soak it up. 

I was asked what was I going to do about what I learned. I don't remember my response, other than to keep after Him.  To be okay with whatever He calls me to do or give up next.  To continue to see the Body of Christ and speak His truth to encourage it to go deeper.   And to be grateful for the time I have been given. For I see things differently- and I see Him differently.  

Comments

[Mary Hanna]

So glad you experienced this love from the other side and I was honored to be a small part. Amen and amen to all you said. You know, the question that got you thinking as to what if you lost everything, I felt I have faced in my own way. I don't like to think of God testing us, but He really wants to know if we love Him and puts challenges in front of us like Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac. As much as I don't want to experience any hardships, I do realize that God will sustain me through anything. It was only after I was willing to, and did, lay my Isaac down that I have a peace in God's promise to be my everything! No matter what I face now(I may have a momentary flicker of panic or dread), I trust the Lord totally with whatever He has planned for me. I don't want to boast or appear cocky, so I apologize for that if this reads that way, I just want to share my confidence in God's promises. I love you sister! You are such a great example to me of someone searching after God's own heart and willing to serve Him and your fellow man! Thank you!